Some Things Just Have to be Said

Sometimes I censor my blog-posts. Not really because I have anything bad to say but because anyone can read it and I don't want to offend anyone...not that I would on purpose--I just might not be 100% sure of all various cultural dos and don'ts. I've considered making my blog private but that's such a hassle and let's be honest, I don't even know how many people bother to read it anyway.

This may be one of those blog posts that may or may not need to be censored. I don't know, but I pray no one will take offense.

I was sitting here tonight feeling sorry for myself because I'm sick and I feel miserable. I had just sat down to upload some pictures on my blog as I promised myself I would, even if I didn't feel like writing anything to go along with my pictures. As the pictures were taking/are taking forever to upload I decided to hop on facebook for a sec just to see what had been going on for the past 3 days as I have been COMPLETELY out of touch with the world. Soon, my friend and coworker (from here in Thailand) started talking to me. "How's it going?" I asked. "Not so good" she responded. She told me she wanted to talk about it but she didn't feel her English was good enough. Being one personally who has to be pushed to talk about something...even if I really want to talk about it in the first place...instead of moving on I encouraged her to try and explain her problems to me--Which she did.

Though I don't feel at liberty to discuss it her story was heartbreaking to me. At first I didn't know what to say, not knowing if her situation was common in the Thai culture (not that that makes it any less sad) or not. So, I told her I wanted to just give her a hug and hold her even though that's not really a Thai thing either. (I really miss just hugging everyone by the way) She said she wished I could. I was surprised how well we were able to communicate given the cultural and linguistic barriers.

By the time I was done talking with her I didn't feel so bad about my pounding head or my ears that feel like they are going to explode--Mostly I just felt grateful--grateful for the knowledge that I AM A CHILD OF GOD and that he wants his children to be happy. Grateful for the gospel, not because it creates this perfect world or perfect families but because it gives us the knowledge and the strength to cope with all the crap that life throws at us. I wanted to be able to tell my friend that so badly--that SHE IS A DAUGHTER OF GOD and that he wants her to be happy. I did tell my friend that, I just don't know if she understood.

It's different living in a culture where I don't understand their concept of God and they don't understand mine. Even on my mission 99.9% of the people I met were Christians, they had the same foundation. I've often thought how different it would be to preach the gospel in a country where people might not even know who Christ is or only know as much about him as they've read in history books--kinda like the extent of my knowledge of Buddha.

I try to think of how I would cope with things if I didn't have the knowledge I have. Honestly...I probably wouldn't. How sad and scary that would be. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that the people here don't get strength and comfort from the religion...I know they do, I see it in their faces every day. It's just different you know?

Anyway basically what it comes down to is the fact that I am so grateful for the gospel in my life. I'm grateful for the happiness and comfort and peace it brings. I'm grateful to know that I have someone I can talk to every day who know's exactly what I am going through and what I'm struggling with.

Talking with my friend has really reminded me what is important and how many things I truly have to be grateful for.